Hey everyone, today I want to talk about why, when you're chronically sick (or even if you've got something acute and it's really knocking you around), why you might look at some of your behaviours and go, "Hang on, but I know how to handle this. I know how to eat better, I know how to take care of myself. But I'm not. Why don't I just behave the way I think I should?"
Adapting Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs
I find I have this discussion sometimes with people, especially when they are either in the middle of it or they've come out of it. We've got them better and then they're reflecting on their behaviour prior to that turning point in their session where they're feeling better, got more energy, or the headaches are gone, or the rash is gone, or whatever they're dealing with.
So I find the easiest way to describe this is actually to adapt the psychological theory called Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, and apply it to states of mine in chronic illness. You might have seen the pyramid. It shows, right at the bottom, your basic needs. So that would be, you know, are you getting enough food, shelter, got clothes on your back, getting your basic living needs met, sleeping properly?
Then as the triangle goes up, it becomes a little bit more in the conscious realm, like you can give to other people, you can start thinking altruistically. You can think about contributing to the world, you can dream, you can plan, you can have all of these other thoughts that, if you're down in the baseline, if you're not having that, you're not really thinking like that.
Chronic Illness and Survival Mode
So this is where, if you're in a chronic illness or if you're in a state of not being well, you actually are existing down in this baseline of not having your basic needs met. And I mean, you might have your clothes, you might have your food, you might have your shelter, so it's not about that. It's about where you are mentally and emotionally. You are just surviving. So you kind of don't have the capacity to think about anything else.
You might not have the capacity to make a healthy meal because you are so in the trenches, you are so in survival mode, dealing with your pain or whatever's affecting your daily life, that all you need is something in your tummy. And you're probably choosing something that's really simple.
But then you have this overlay of knowledge. When you have existed outside of this baseline section of the pyramid, when you have been well, you know you're probably better off with a nice cooked meal and some vegetables and this and that. But when you're down in this – so you have this knowledge there of what it was like to be well and how you would have treated your body in the past – but when you're in a sickness phase or an illness phase, you're reaching for the instant noodles because they only take two minutes.
So there's this added layer where people have the knowledge of what is better, but they just are not matched in their energy levels, in their capacity in that moment, to follow through.
Giving Yourself Grace
So I tell you this because sometimes we just have to give ourselves a break. Sometimes we have to forgive what we were doing in the past. And sometimes it's a case of you're not going to be thinking and doing and making healthier choices and healthier options just because of where you are at.
And look, this is another analogy I use when people still are like, "Yeah, but I know, I know what to do. It's not like I couldn't do it."
It's like, actually, you kind of can't.
So here's my other analogy. If you've got someone who's homeless and they're just trying to – their priority is when and where they're going to sleep tonight that's safe. Maybe where are they going to get their next meal? They're not thinking about how they could go and do some charity work and give back to other people in the community, because their priorities are right there in that baseline survival mode.
So that's where you are when you're sick. Sometimes. Not all the time, but if you do ever find yourself in that position, I just want you to understand that that's okay. You're just surviving. You've just got to get through.
Beyond Physical Health
And this can also extrapolate out. It's not just about how you might be – how your house is, the cleanliness of your house, or you being able to have the social calendar that you used to. You might not. You might not have the energy to even pick up the phone and call your mum. But then you feel guilty. "Why can't I do this? And I used to be able to do it and now I can't. I'm letting her down and she'll feel sad," and all this stuff.
So this is where you really have to honour where you are in your illness to be able to take care of yourself and then hopefully come out of it.
So I hope that helps. And I have a few other things I want to say around the mental state of being sick and how that can affect your behaviour, so I will create more episodes around these ideas.
Okay, take care. Bye!